By Mark Catsburg
It’s only February and it has already been a landmark year for our beloved sport. Big things people, things are happ-en-ing…
What with all this Olympics hoopla and the double corking malarky, I have a feeling things are just going to get weirder for snowboarding this year, so…
Here are my 10 predictions for 2010.
1. Snowboarders in 2010 look like this:
Though I think it would be kind of neat if they looked a little more like this:
But that whole thing would probably just end up looking like this:
So forget it.
2. No highbacks.
This is coming. But that whole game is played before it even started. So to make sure i will remain as cutting edge (Check THAT snowboarding pun!!! whoa…) as usual i will be rocking this get up.
What’s up now.
3. Neck Injuries.
A dramatic increase in neck and back related injuries due to hoards of over excited children trying to learn double corks in the Perisher pipe.
Also this will co-incide with huge lawsuits against the television of the olympics.
4. Inverted wallrides.
I mean this guy doesn’t exactly have that far to go, and if you can already go around corners why not just put your board on the roof of something?
5. Shaun White Target.
As well as making all sorts of clothes and money for Target, Shaun White will actually become a target, to a terrorist group of ultra competitive underhanded Olympic hopefuls who are just basically fed up with his bullshit. Squish the flying tomato!!!
6. The return of Trash Films.
Relocated to Australia. Well probably not, but hopefully something similar. Because it looks pretty fun, and we need some more stuff to watch from here that is actually good and not just a bunch of runs at copper mountain wearing a helmet. Agreed?
7. One of these.
Because this looks even way more fun than other stuff. Build one.
8. Tons more of these.
Because of the olympics, and no it’s not sideways thrillers (or is it?) its punters, learners, noobs, kooks or whatever you call them. 8 year olds. uggh. Anyway expect way more first timers this year because lets face it, that halfpipe competition was just a little bit good. Definitely watch out for another wave of Torah-tots.
9. This guy goes pro
As well as a bunch of 8 year olds.
10. And my final prediction is that Transfer will enable a comments section under these blogs so that ANONYMOUS can write things like:
OMG I TOTZ LRV TORAH BRGHT SHES DA BMB!!!!!! IM TOTZ GNNA WIN A LYMPC MDAL 1 DAY DBL CRKS 4 LYFE!!!!!
and “dude this is so overated what kind of idiot wouldn’t wear highbacks? burton makes them for a reason you hipster wannabes.”
and so on and so forth.
And that’s all. If prediction 10 comes true you can add your own. but if it doesn’t you will have to post your long winded complaints on another forum with the rest of your grumpy online buddies.
Godspeed for 2010!